'Fear caused my cancer.' This is what Anita Moorjani now believes after her near death experience. After watching her interview fear has not left my thoughts. As the week went on Kaypacha from mystic mamma posted his report and what was the theme?..FEAR. I have been making notes since I watched Anita...
Life is filled with endless fears that can wreak havoc on your mind, body and spirit. We come into the world as innocent children not knowing what fear is all about, we feel free until the external world begins to shape our ego. We begin to develop fears about not fitting in, not being liked, whether we look good or whether we're smart enough. We get rattled when our parents argue, some of us fearing maybe one day they will break up and leave us. Many days I was afraid to go to school which turned into being afraid to go to work and when I was married and came out of denial, I feared being alone. I remember leaving home at eighteen feeling fearless without even having a home of my own to go to, to being afraid to be alone in my forties, but in all those years I also had a guy in my life so I hadn’t conquered that fear.
Sometimes we let go of fears, but then develop other ones. Fear is an ongoing test and you can either push through it or live in it, but didn't it feel amazing once you pushed through it? If only we could get to a point where it didn't feel so scary to combat fear, that's when I discovered I need a little help, sometimes life can be just too much to handle alone.
Fearing death was the worst fear of all and that one left eight years ago when I began this journey. I was sick, literally, and tired of being afraid. My world was crumbling. I finally gave in when I didn't know what else to do, but surrender to God. I needed something bigger than me to help and at that time came my first reading with a medium. I will never forget my whole family showing up and being told 'if you didn't start this healing journey you could've gotten very sick'. I get it now and why I am such a firm believer in the emotional connection to dis-ease. Like Anita, I was living in so much fear.
Slowly I began to learn about natural healing, but only recently realized it's the intention behind it that makes a difference. I would put healthy things in my body, not so much because I wanted to, but because I was afraid of getting cancer for one. I understand a lot of the 'natural’ lectures I attended were meant to shake me up and wake me up to a better way and I learned a lot, but it also created a new fear... 'If you don't do this you'll get sick!' Every time we attach fear to anything, it defeats the purpose. If I do something healthy or not so healthy, I do it because I want to and because I enjoy it. Some things I've kept in my routine, some things I've let go. Changes are continuous and that’s called evolving. Listen carefully to the words people say to us that create fear. It comes from all directions...family, doctors, employers, newscasters, twitter, facebook and on it goes. People tend to project their own fears onto you which can consume you. Just like cancer it can attack and destroy you little by little.
When you do things from a place of fear it is highly likely the outcome will be exactly what you feared. How many things have you feared that have come true, yet people still don't believe they attract what they put out there! It's almost as if the ego kicks in and says, see I told you! You're so pleased with yourself that you were right! Next you become a victim, the world surely must be against you and you're miserable. How could there possibly be a God? Maybe God is actually helping you find your way to him, like he did for me. Personally I wouldn't want my fears validated, that sucks the life right out of me and feeds my fears, a never ending cycle. Fear will always come knocking, it's a part of life, but I rather live in love and joy and kick fear's ass out the door and to the curb.
I no longer fear getting sick, being alone or when I'm going to meet 'the one'. I no longer fear not having enough, not being good enough or not being liked for who I am. Looking back I can’t believe how many days I spent being fearful of my bosses or losing my job. I am no longer in survival mode being satisfied I merely made it through another day. I say thank you from the moment I start my day and feel peaceful knowing God is looking after me. I deal with one challenge at a time with gratitude I am being tested yet again to see if I can stay grounded. And like Anita says..'do not fear death, there is nothing to fear, our loved ones are happy and one day we will be with them again. Love yourself and live a life of joy.' If you believe they’ve gone to a better place, then you would see the fear is them not being here with you. Actually they are, just may not be the way you want them to be. Enjoy the journey.