As I get older I actually find it a more challenging lesson. I have wisdom that continues to grow and I want to share it by telling others what to do! Now I'm in a relationship with a man who has three sons at home that are not young children anymore. They are all science minded and even though dad has faith, it's not the same as mine. Can you blame him when he has suffered the loss of his wife and is dealing with his eldest having cancer that has resurfaced, something I can't possibly relate to. He can't stop asking why. Why would God do this?...but he still continues to pray.
I'm not only a woman, a woman surrounded by all guys. A woman with different beliefs and a woman that never had kids! Talk about a lesson! Even with all this wisdom I have gained, haven't I tried to tell him what to do over and over again. There's an upside to this wisdom, I gained more awareness and eventually caught myself, but it's taking time to exercise this form of control...a work in progress. I still haven't connected to his sons as much as I'd like to and that will take time given what they have and what they are going thru, I have no control over that. Poor dad has suffered most from my 'guidance' as I tried many times to 'help' him. Through this relationship I now know what it feels like for parents to want to tell their kids what to do, but step back and let them figure stuff out for themselves. It's amazing that if you are meant to learn certain lessons, you will, regardless if you made different choices in life, like myself, by not having kids,
How difficult it has also been to stop continuously telling him counseling might help. Not only can't I try to 'counsel' them, I can't keep 'suggesting' they get counseling. So I did what I have done before, set up counseling for myself to help me deal with the unknowns I am faced with and how to cope. Years ago, as I was dealing with my marriage falling apart, I didn't find a few sessions automatically fixed everything, but I know now it opened me up to receive, which led to me figuring things out in my own time. My favorite counseling is spiritual through readings where I get advice from my guides and family on the other side, but that's enjoyable and easier because mostly I just sit and listen. With a counsellor I have to be vulnerable and do the talking.
You know how I said guidance and control is a fine line? Didn't my closest girlfriend 'suggest' counseling years ago? Did I go? No. What I did was open up and tell her my struggles, which was really a cry for help and she threw me a life preserver. Eventually I grabbed hold of it and went when I was ready. I remember at my last session the counsellor was almost disappointed it was over as she wanted to know what was going to happen with me. Well it's four years later and she's about to find out! I know I'm ready when I'm a bit nervous, but looking forward to it at the same time. I have it all under control....hahahaha.